My Nappily Ever After

The challenges faced by a young black girl are indeed significant. You might have seen the Netflix movie with this title, which likely resonated with many black women. I didn't realize I was a prisoner to my own hair until I recently made a daringly bold decision. It was a choice I somewhat regretted as it was being done, and it left me with mixed feelings afterward. However, it ultimately brought me immense peace, joy, and a sense of freedom that continues to this day.

Growing up, my hair was always styled in French braids and straightened using a pressing comb stove iron. If you grew up in my era and in Africa, you'll understand what I mean (Fig.1). Coming from a tropical region, my hair was long, kinky, and thick. It needed straightening to avoid the pain of combing. At that time and at my age, using chemicals to straighten my hair wasn't even considered an option.

Fig. 1 If you know, you know.

Growing up, I was often told that I resembled my dad and brother. This made me feel like I was an unattractive baby because I was being compared to men. However, being my father's daughter and my brother's sister, it was natural that I would inherit some of their features. This left me feeling insecure about my appearance and believing that my beauty lay in having long hair. I even heard guys say they'd never date a woman with short hair, which didn't help my confidence.

Today, short hair is more popular than ever. I never imagined I would follow this trend, as I'm usually one to set trends. Moreover, I grew up with the belief that "beauty was found in having long hair," even if it was fake hair—yes, I said it, fake hair! I was mistaken. I recall watching "Nappily Ever After" on Netflix not long ago, and my initial thought was, "hmmm heck no, not me! I wouldn't dare. Not in a million years." But there's a saying that goes never say never, and it holds true.

Getting my hair cut has been one of the best decisions I've made this year, and I have no regrets. I feel more beautiful, confident, liberated, joyful, and most importantly, more natural, which feels amazing. I'm more in tune with myself and less focused on my appearance. I love myself even more now. I'm at a point in my life where I couldn't care less about others' opinions of me. This change has encouraged me to make adjustments in other areas of my life that I never thought I would, with my previous "never do this" mindset. I'm living for myself, striving to be the best version of me, and that's what matters. I've learned that to enter a new phase, you need to change your old habits, attitudes, and BELIEFS. Let go of the old habits because they won't open new doors.

What are you afraid of changing in your life? Why are you hesitant to make that change? Just go ahead and NIKE (just do it), and see what happens. Change itself isn't painful. It's the resistance to change that's painful. I hope to inspire you to be yourself, regardless of society's expectations. Stay authentic! Stay beYOUtiful! You're amazing! PERIODT!

I love my Nappily Ever After!

With Love,

AN.